How it Happened:
A Mexican had sex with a Pig. (I'm assuming Male Mexican/Female Pig, a) because a man having sex with a male pig is weird; and b) because only a man would be weird enough to contemplate pig sex, let alone act on his "wanton desires.")
Why it Happened:
Louise was asking for it. Louise the Pig. She was asking for it. To be sexed by a man. A Mexican Man.
When it Happened:
During the heat wave that happened over the last couple of weeks.
Evidently, it was too hot to work, but not too hot to fuck. A Pig.
Where it Happened:
This may come as a surprise or a twist of sorts...New Mexico.
The initial report got confused, and they have been sticking to the wrong story ever since.
And no offense, but doesn't it sound more plausible that a thing like this starts in a place like Mexico?
Possible Lasting US Socioeconomic Effects:
As of the last time I bothered to check it out, the U.S. of A. had about a hundred or so cases.
I'll give you double, we'll call it 200. I'm fair like that.
There are 300 million people in this country.
Symptoms: Flu
Remedies: See Remedies for Flu
Bacon:
Eat it. It's the only way to prove to these porcine terrorists that we're too crazy to give a shit about their biological warfare. We're silly like that.
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