You want the long of it, or the short of it?
Twitter has sucked up all my good ideas.
Also, Jack LaLanne died and I couldn't make the funny spin I wanted to blog about sound funny amidst the face that a beloved old man died. Also, Twitter sucks up all my good ideas.
To think I wrote thousands upon thousands of words on garbage I could fart out within 140 characters - not words, CHARACTERS.
I started a new job at MF Global on Valentine's Day 2011. The company filed for bankruptcy on Halloween. I found out I was laid off on Veteran's Day. No severance, no explanation. I'm working with the group in charge of cleaning up the mess left behind, and I have no decent prospects to speak of. Not Happy about this.
I got engaged to Keely, and I am extremely excited about that. Other people are not, which makes me wonder why we can't expel social waste from the world the same way we expel food waste from the body. It is still going to be an amazing and positive day.
BTW, weddings cost money. And it's nice to have health benefits. And also a steady gig. And supportive friends. Fun Facts.
I guess I'm giving you the short version of the long of it?
Anyway, I believe the net result of 2011 has been good. A lot of shitty things happened to me on the tail end to sour the good that occurred throughout. And all the while, I felt no urge or desire to post anything worth your time and effort.
Until Now.
I have taken my licks in 2011. I have been beaten and bloodied, bombarded and bumiliated.
I've seen a lot of negative and unnecessary shit.
But this...THIS...this is not going away quietly. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW.
AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRISTOPHER NOLAN
RE: THE NEW BATMAN MOVIE
Dear Mr. Nolan:
I am writing to you regarding the events of Friday, January 20, 2012 at the Imax Theater located in the Palisades Center in West Nyack, NY. In order to accurately voice my concerns to you, I'd like to bore you for a moment with my background as it relates to your body of work, and then provide you with my thoughts and concerns as they arose from the events of the aforementioned evening.
Mr. Nolan, I am a fan. I have enjoyed nearly everything you have done in film, and what little I don't care for I believe will be remedied upon repeat viewing. Following I tried to watch at 3AM in the throes of a sinus infection, and Insomnia I was just too young to care the first go-around.
Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, Inception. All amazing pieces of work, all rich and engrossing every time I have the pleasure of watching them.
I managed to attend the midnight screening of The Dark Knight at the aforementioned Imax theater, and I say with all sincerity and honesty that I have never been more thrilled to be up until 4 in the morning and miss a day of work in order to watch a man in a costume chase around some geek in grease paint. Visually stunning.
I saw Inception twice in the theater - once with my then girlfriend, to whom I am now engaged (Thank You for Your Presumed Congratulation), and the second time with two friends at a "Fake Imax" screening. The whole "Fake Imax" scam is another issue for another time, but it deserves your attention. Fucking scam to bilk another couple of bucks out of a moviegoer...
I digress.
Called "The Godfather Part II of superhero movies", The Dark Knight is not without a few machinations which require a suspension of disbelief. I mean, you have to admit that The Joker seems to have an easy go of taking control of the criminal element of Gotham City. Someone's father once pointed out that had your film been an hour longer, your version of Gotham's Clown Prince of Crime may have been able to take over the whole world...
I'm sorry, I digress again.
Anyway, on January 20th of this year, my fiancee and I attended a screening of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, at the Palisades Imax Theater. Good Movie, you should go see it.
Anyway, we were lucky enough to be in the theater in time to watch the six-minute prologue to your upcoming opus, The Dark Knight Rises. Effectively your final entry in the DC property you single-handedly rejuvenated, I can't imagine a single man, woman, or non-stupid child who isn't salivating from every orifice in anticipation.
And then I heard Bane speak. Rather, I tried to hear Bane speak. More specifically, I tried to understand Bane's dialogue.
Now I grant you the concession that the prologue takes place almost entirely in and out of two airplanes flying through the air, and there is a lot of hustle and bustle in those six minutes of screentime.
Visually, you win again. Hands-down. I was all "What the Fuck?" in a good way all the live-long time. And Tom Hardy's presence and talent is very apparent by all accounts.
But Chris...we're friends now, I'm calling you Chris...Chris, he's trying to do an accent and speak eloquently through a mask that muffles his voice like a couple of pillows over an unruly retirement home resident. I'm sorry, I could not understand fuck-all.
This is whipping your fans all up into a frenzy. And I suppose we could have left it at that, or someone from team "Relax Yourselves" could have told everyone to relax themselves. Something like that.
But now we're hearing things about "It is what it is" and "Nothing is getting changed"...and they may very well be rumors, but someone has to tell us something. I'm sorry, but saying that the character is "incredible" and that audiences should "keep up" has nothing to do with whether or not we can UNDERSTAND WHAT A MAIN CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE IS SAYING.
This isn't a case of interpreting a seemingly inscrutable dialect. This is a case of a dialect drowned out by forces both seen (the mask) and unseen (every other sound in the film). Now, I again point out the very possible possibility that everyone could be wrong and this is just a single frustrating instance in an otherwise flawless sound mix.
Assuming that is the case, someone just needs to tell us that. Maybe test-screen, get some feedback from Joe Six-Pack, and please please PLEASE adjust accordingly.
Anyway, Best of Luck to You. Looking forward to the next step in your amazing career. I hope we're clear on this, and I apologize if I was jerky about it. Also, do check out that Mission Impossible movie. It's pretty decent.
So fix the Bane voice issue. Or, fuck yourself.
Best Wishes,
A Fan.
PS - Anyone who refers to this as a "First World Problem" can eat a poisoned dick before getting drowned in a bathtub filled with cat piss...Anyway...
I'm not taking this shit anymore. I'm just not. Referring to something as a "First-World" anything only verifies that 1) you exist in the same first-world as I and 2) you have the same sense of entitlement to your opinion on dumb shit that I have GO FUCK YOURSELF. 3) is you're fired.
The End.
Twitter has sucked up all my good ideas.
Also, Jack LaLanne died and I couldn't make the funny spin I wanted to blog about sound funny amidst the face that a beloved old man died. Also, Twitter sucks up all my good ideas.
To think I wrote thousands upon thousands of words on garbage I could fart out within 140 characters - not words, CHARACTERS.
I started a new job at MF Global on Valentine's Day 2011. The company filed for bankruptcy on Halloween. I found out I was laid off on Veteran's Day. No severance, no explanation. I'm working with the group in charge of cleaning up the mess left behind, and I have no decent prospects to speak of. Not Happy about this.
I got engaged to Keely, and I am extremely excited about that. Other people are not, which makes me wonder why we can't expel social waste from the world the same way we expel food waste from the body. It is still going to be an amazing and positive day.
BTW, weddings cost money. And it's nice to have health benefits. And also a steady gig. And supportive friends. Fun Facts.
I guess I'm giving you the short version of the long of it?
Anyway, I believe the net result of 2011 has been good. A lot of shitty things happened to me on the tail end to sour the good that occurred throughout. And all the while, I felt no urge or desire to post anything worth your time and effort.
Until Now.
I have taken my licks in 2011. I have been beaten and bloodied, bombarded and bumiliated.
I've seen a lot of negative and unnecessary shit.
But this...THIS...this is not going away quietly. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW.
AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRISTOPHER NOLAN
RE: THE NEW BATMAN MOVIE
Dear Mr. Nolan:
I am writing to you regarding the events of Friday, January 20, 2012 at the Imax Theater located in the Palisades Center in West Nyack, NY. In order to accurately voice my concerns to you, I'd like to bore you for a moment with my background as it relates to your body of work, and then provide you with my thoughts and concerns as they arose from the events of the aforementioned evening.
Mr. Nolan, I am a fan. I have enjoyed nearly everything you have done in film, and what little I don't care for I believe will be remedied upon repeat viewing. Following I tried to watch at 3AM in the throes of a sinus infection, and Insomnia I was just too young to care the first go-around.
Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, Inception. All amazing pieces of work, all rich and engrossing every time I have the pleasure of watching them.
I managed to attend the midnight screening of The Dark Knight at the aforementioned Imax theater, and I say with all sincerity and honesty that I have never been more thrilled to be up until 4 in the morning and miss a day of work in order to watch a man in a costume chase around some geek in grease paint. Visually stunning.
I saw Inception twice in the theater - once with my then girlfriend, to whom I am now engaged (Thank You for Your Presumed Congratulation), and the second time with two friends at a "Fake Imax" screening. The whole "Fake Imax" scam is another issue for another time, but it deserves your attention. Fucking scam to bilk another couple of bucks out of a moviegoer...
I digress.
Called "The Godfather Part II of superhero movies", The Dark Knight is not without a few machinations which require a suspension of disbelief. I mean, you have to admit that The Joker seems to have an easy go of taking control of the criminal element of Gotham City. Someone's father once pointed out that had your film been an hour longer, your version of Gotham's Clown Prince of Crime may have been able to take over the whole world...
I'm sorry, I digress again.
Anyway, on January 20th of this year, my fiancee and I attended a screening of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, at the Palisades Imax Theater. Good Movie, you should go see it.
Anyway, we were lucky enough to be in the theater in time to watch the six-minute prologue to your upcoming opus, The Dark Knight Rises. Effectively your final entry in the DC property you single-handedly rejuvenated, I can't imagine a single man, woman, or non-stupid child who isn't salivating from every orifice in anticipation.
And then I heard Bane speak. Rather, I tried to hear Bane speak. More specifically, I tried to understand Bane's dialogue.
Now I grant you the concession that the prologue takes place almost entirely in and out of two airplanes flying through the air, and there is a lot of hustle and bustle in those six minutes of screentime.
Visually, you win again. Hands-down. I was all "What the Fuck?" in a good way all the live-long time. And Tom Hardy's presence and talent is very apparent by all accounts.
But Chris...we're friends now, I'm calling you Chris...Chris, he's trying to do an accent and speak eloquently through a mask that muffles his voice like a couple of pillows over an unruly retirement home resident. I'm sorry, I could not understand fuck-all.
This is whipping your fans all up into a frenzy. And I suppose we could have left it at that, or someone from team "Relax Yourselves" could have told everyone to relax themselves. Something like that.
But now we're hearing things about "It is what it is" and "Nothing is getting changed"...and they may very well be rumors, but someone has to tell us something. I'm sorry, but saying that the character is "incredible" and that audiences should "keep up" has nothing to do with whether or not we can UNDERSTAND WHAT A MAIN CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE IS SAYING.
This isn't a case of interpreting a seemingly inscrutable dialect. This is a case of a dialect drowned out by forces both seen (the mask) and unseen (every other sound in the film). Now, I again point out the very possible possibility that everyone could be wrong and this is just a single frustrating instance in an otherwise flawless sound mix.
Assuming that is the case, someone just needs to tell us that. Maybe test-screen, get some feedback from Joe Six-Pack, and please please PLEASE adjust accordingly.
Anyway, Best of Luck to You. Looking forward to the next step in your amazing career. I hope we're clear on this, and I apologize if I was jerky about it. Also, do check out that Mission Impossible movie. It's pretty decent.
So fix the Bane voice issue. Or, fuck yourself.
Best Wishes,
A Fan.
PS - Anyone who refers to this as a "First World Problem" can eat a poisoned dick before getting drowned in a bathtub filled with cat piss...Anyway...
I'm not taking this shit anymore. I'm just not. Referring to something as a "First-World" anything only verifies that 1) you exist in the same first-world as I and 2) you have the same sense of entitlement to your opinion on dumb shit that I have GO FUCK YOURSELF. 3) is you're fired.
The End.
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